A razzmatazz of graphics, a deafening background score, and full-throated theatrical commentary announce the appearance of Blabberman.

Every night, for hours, he unleashes his powers to safeguard the petrified dimwits from the proverbial ‘Bogeyman’. Wearing a scorn face mask, a shining black jacket, and an invisible cape, he casts an incriminating gaze on everyone around. Blabberman disguises himself as a journalist. It’s a carefully designed ruse to hide his real identity.

He is armed with sheaves of supercharged papers which, when waved vigorously, can generate a frenzy of calamitous proportions. When not using this weapon, he relishes deploying his superpower – a deafening scream. His spine chilling, nerve-wracking screams can paralyse his opponents. His adversaries can only gasp and cringe. They become so numb that they can’t even utter a word. Once they’re on the mat, Blabberman utters his quintessential superhero catchphrases, ‘fire-with-fury’; ‘eye-for-an-eye’; ‘no-place-for-cowards’.

As his name would suggest, blabbering is another of his supernatural skills. He has the gift of gab. The sermonising monologue typically goes like this, ‘The most important point is blabber, blabber, blabber, and blabber, yes, and just for your information, blabber, blabber, however, blabber, blabber before you could blabber, blabber, I put before you a question blabber, blabber, and some more blabber?’

This superhero has a superego too. No one dares to offend him while he discharges his sacred duty, for it can trigger a ten-minute blabber, punctuated only with threats. His blabber is in its purest state, cleansed of all human infirmities like humility, neutrality, and reason.

In the binary structure of a superhero narrative, truth is always on Blabberman’s side. Whatever the script maybe, he is always right. He is indubitable and unblemished. He decides what is good or evil. He draws the distinction between black and white. He certifies intentions. He is ‘Mr. Know-It-All’. He believes in imparting instant justice and wastes no time on inconsequential fact-findings. He is the judge, jury, and executioner.

He has vowed to rid the nation of the super-villain, Bogeyman. The beastly Bogeyman is ubiquitous. Over the years he has degenerated, mutated, and multiplied into every nook and cranny of the country as ‘Antinatards’, ‘Paktards’, ‘Terorrtards’, and ‘Refugitards’. While the annihilation of the Bogeyman and the other degenerates is a revered objective, Blabberman’s folklore needs the Bogeyman to grow. The more vicious the Bogeyman is made to appear, the more cherished Blabberman’s stature becomes.

Stature is also known as ‘The-Respect-Potential’ or ‘TRP’ in Blabber-world parlance. This TRP has inspired many others to choose the path of self-righteousness. Blabberers of all types and varieties have discovered their blabber strains and have come forth to decimate the heinous dominion of the Bogeyman. Blabberman is now ably aided by a team of garrulous hyperboles and story spinners – Blabberbaby, Blabberkid, Blabbergirl, Blabberdog, and Blabberwoman.

Blabberman dreams of creating a utopian land or ‘Patrioton’. The inhabitants of 'Patrioton' will have no diversity. They will have unidimensional thinking, unanimous opinions, and coherent thoughts. There will be no dissent, disagreements or ethnic differences. Nothing that disrupts unanimity.

Blabberman’s tribe has gained clout and sanctity. The superhero derives his strength from 'Ignorance' which is found in abundance in humans. Blabberman can tap into this abundant resource by indulging in jingoism and whipping-up some hysteria.

Like other superheroes, he too has a weakness. It’s called rationality. Emanating from radioactive ‘Acumen’ crystals, rationality has a debilitating effect on Blabberman. For Blabberman to thrive, it is crucial that these harmful substances are sunk into oblivion.

This write-up originally appeared on Livewire.com on April 06, 2018